Steve and I took Ben to feed the swans yesterday. He immediately made friends with a little girl whom I later asked her dad how old she was, and found out she was nearly three. Just like Sophie should have been this month, if she'd gone full term.
I watched her play with Ben, and I wanted to scream at how awful this world was.
That my son shouldn't be playing with this beautiful little girl, that he should be chasing his sister Sophie around the park. Playing trains together, watching the lion king together.
So yes. I watched with a heavy heart.
Hoping that I am wrong, that God is real , that there is a heaven. And that one day when I'm 80 or so that I will get to live the life I wanted to live in Heaven and do the things I wanted with all my children.
Ben adored Sarah, and when ever she went out of his sight, he'd stop and spin till he found her. He would get slightly upset if he had to look too long.
But she was very accommodating and waved at him, or got him to get on the climbing frame with her, or on the swing. He had so much fun, and was upset when it was time for her to go.
I was a little sad too, watching her walk away holding her Daddy's hand. Wishing that one day Sophie would be holding her Daddy's hand once again.
I watched her play with Ben, and I wanted to scream at how awful this world was.
That my son shouldn't be playing with this beautiful little girl, that he should be chasing his sister Sophie around the park. Playing trains together, watching the lion king together.
So yes. I watched with a heavy heart.
Hoping that I am wrong, that God is real , that there is a heaven. And that one day when I'm 80 or so that I will get to live the life I wanted to live in Heaven and do the things I wanted with all my children.
Ben adored Sarah, and when ever she went out of his sight, he'd stop and spin till he found her. He would get slightly upset if he had to look too long.
But she was very accommodating and waved at him, or got him to get on the climbing frame with her, or on the swing. He had so much fun, and was upset when it was time for her to go.
I was a little sad too, watching her walk away holding her Daddy's hand. Wishing that one day Sophie would be holding her Daddy's hand once again.
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